By Clélio Berti / Translation: Cristiane Magalhães
When we talk about sexuality, the paradigm of penetration soon comes to mind. In rushing to this end, a significant part of the sensorial expression developed within sexuality gets lost, whether because of a rush, or because of the lovers’ inability. How can one forget to breathe in the heady fragrance of love? How can one forget to lose themselves in a lover’s gaze? Or in the emotions reflected in that gaze? How can one not feel their heartbeat rise and fall in time with their lover’s?
How can one neglect to hear their lover’s sweet cries? How can one neglect to pay attention to their lover’s entire body, and not just their genital parts? Sexuality involves the human being as a whole. The body, the emotions, and the mind should perform in harmony. A person should be involved completely, in order to experience the richness of sensorial sexuality. It isn’t possible to experience sex’s different shades if the relationship is mediocre in time or sensibility. What to do? This is our article’s theme.
The average time of a sexual act for the North American is 12 minutes, and for the Brazilian it is 15, depending on the age group. Well, a sexual act within this time frame is sensorial poverty. This is not enough time to arouse all the senses. This kind of sex can only be compared with that of irrational animals. The potential for pleasure is thrown out the window. A healthy and pleasurable full sexual act should not last less than forty minutes. The ideal is at least 90 minutes. With this amount of time, we can arouse all the sensations. We should start with the stimulation of the sexual organs. We must amplify our consciousness in order to use smell, touch, taste, hearing, and organize our thoughts and emotions.
What before was a simple contact of the genitalia, is now an expression of the totality of the being. It is a dive, a free fall, into maximum pleasure. It is important to point out that this experience can be lived through other sensations and not only through sexuality. In each pleasurable experience of this magnitude, a person’s true self can manifest. There is a feeling of fullness that makes life take on a deeper meaning. With such a gratifying experience, the individual seeks repetition. The repetition reassures the pleasure.
An individual under these conditions will be happier, believe in life more, contract less diseases (the immunological system is more active within this life style), have richer relationships, will be more productive at work, and the sexual performance will be extraordinary. But just wanting it is not enough. It is necessary to develop certain techniques in order to increase performance. The wish without action is ineffective. To maintain a strong erection for 90 minutes without ejaculating, there are many exercises.
To develop genital muscles and simultaneously control breathing is one of these techniques. Breathe in slowly. With the lungs full, contract the passages of the anus and urethra. Breathe out and, with empty lungs, one more time, contract the passages. The contraction should remain until the lungs become full or empty. The need to breathe in or out interrupts the contractions. Repeat the exercise for 10 to 15 minutes every day of the week. The stronger the contractions and the deeper the breathing, the better the results will be.
This exercise will strengthen the genital muscles that will be under the control of the breathing. During the sexual act, nearing orgasm, the individual should decrease the rhythm of their movements and take deep breaths. Shortly thereafter, the excitement will decrease slightly. Intensify the rhythm of the movements. When approaching the next orgasm, repeat the rhythmic decrease. Remain in that area approaching orgasm. Increasing and decreasing the rhythm will increase or decrease arousal.
After dominating these techniques, the individual will be able to extend the duration of their sex for considerable amounts of time. During this period, the lovers’ creativity is fundamental. Use your sense of smell, lips, tongue, hands, feet, the small hairs on your body, touch, hearing, voice, and breathing. This is only one technique. It should be mentioned that there are other complementary techniques to be applied along with this one or separately. The more techniques conquered in one’s universe, the better the general performance will be.
* Clélio Berti lives in Campinas (SP), Brazil. He is the author of “Um Caminho para o Autoconhecimento (“A Path to Self-Knowledge”) and a member of the organization “Universidade de yôga do Brasil” (University of Yoga of Brazil).