By Morgan McKean
To stack up means their ego is left in tack, to fall short means feeling less than or unworthy. Self-centered people are constant victims to an uncomfortable emotional state and are easily offended by what they perceive others are doing to them. They intentionally look for the injustices in life so they can tout around their self-importance by reiterating every minute transgression to the people they come in contact with.
We all know a person like this, they’re the one who comes into work almost every morning with some tragic story about the car that cut them off, the store clerk who was rude or the waitress who offered poor service. Their level of awareness doesn’t allow them to analyze the situation and see that the thoughts and actions of others have little if anything to do with them directly.Many of us struggle with the subtle balance between having healthy selfesteem and an over inflated ego, at least at some point in our lives.
For some it’s a material thing, for others it’s a certain level of professional accomplishment or material gain and for most of us there is the question of being attractive to the rest of the world. At first glance the two may seem interlinked, as most people with healthy self-esteem also want nice things, to achieve professional accomplishments and to be physically attractive to others. However, to simplify the distinction, people with healthy self-esteem don’t need to be better than or measure up to anyone else in order to feel valid about who they are. People who operate from their ego are usually in a state of constant comparison. They seek out and critique all aspects of other people to see where they stack up.
Because we are becoming more familiar with the concept of the Law of Attraction, ask yourself “What kind of life experiences do you think the person operating from their ego is attracting to them-selves?” If you stop to think that the Universe is always reflecting back to us that which we really believe about ourselves, then isn’t the person who is a slave to their ego likely to attract less than situations because of a lack of genuine self-worth. Remember, there are no pauses or “do-overs” in relation to the reality we create, regardless of our emotional state. If our perspective is distorted by our insecurities (i.e. I’m not good enough because …) then we are unable to see the most accurate choices that will result in our best and highest good.
A good way to begin raising our self-esteem, sans the ego, is to monitor our self-talk. Many times a day we berate ourselves for an intangible reason. We create a thought about something we should have, should be or should do, then spend hours coming up with all the reasons we are not good enough to do, be or have them. Creating a positive inner dialog about who you are can be life altering. Another powerful tool is to refrain comparing ourselves to others.
We see celebrities, athletes or other notable figures and think “Well, they have this or that and I don’t, so that’s why my life isn’t as good as theirs.” I use to get caught in this cycle a lot. Anytime I went to write an article, present a workshop or give a talk, I would compare myself to others that I perceived to be better than me. When I created the idea in my mind that I didn’t measure up, I’d feel less than or embarrassed about where I thought I was on the totem pole. I got over this by realizing that I am the best me there is ever going to be and I have something of value to offer.
Another part of this process is learning to take care of you as a worthy person. That means making healthy lifestyle choices for yourself as it relates to your health and fitness, how many hours you work, how much time you spend with loved ones and how much rest you get. If you have a question about how you treat you, ask yourself, “If I was my best friend, would I want me treating myself the way I currently do?” and there you will find your answer.
Paying attention to all of these things from a place of knowing you are worthy of the best that life has to offer will automatically increase the health of your selfesteem. Here’s a simple exercise you can do throughout the day to increase your self-esteem… Either look at yourself in a mirror or find a quiet place where you can close your eyes and say the following phrases a loud or to yourself…
1) I am free of the positive or negative opinions of others. I am my source of validation and mine is the opinion who counts about me.
2) I am neither above nor beneath anyone. I am equal to all human beings and they are equal to me. I treat all persons with equal respect and know I am worthy of respect in return.
3) I move fearlessly towards my goals, knowing the best and highest good will be a result of all of my choices.
4) I am the best me there is ever going to be and I have something of value to offer the world.
Understand that there is a direct correlation between attracting positive situations to yourself and knowing your self-worth. You can only attract into your life, that which you are being. When you come to know your worth and let go of operating from your ego you will begin to cultivate dreams long forgotten because you didn’t think you were good enough to attain them. Having healthy self-esteem means you are motivated to take action towards your goals because you know this is life, not a dress rehearsal and it can only be what you make of it.
* Morgan McKean is one of today’s hottest up and coming Empowerment Coaches and Motivational Speakers. Her unique combination of a formal education, professional experience and street sense creates one qualified triumph after another. You can visit her website at www.morganmckean.com or to listen to her weekly Podcast visit http://empowermentor.podbean.com